Book Review: “The Wonder and Happiness of Being Old” by Sophy Burnham (Andrews McMeel Publishing, 256 pages)

We have all read — or at least heard of — epistolary novels. “The Wonder and Happiness of Being Old” is the first epistolary memoir I have come across. Memoir might be the wrong word. Sophy Burnham’s new book is an expression of her personal philosophy as well as a description of parts of her life.

Burnham, who lives in Northampton, is in her mid-80s. This book (her 17th!), she explains at the outset, was inspired by her younger cousin, Eleanor, who asked the author what is felt like to be old. The chapters of the book consist of letters to the cousin on this topic.

Under any other writer’s pen, the formula might seem contrived. Sophy Burnham makes it seem natural. She is curious about the world and about her own place in it, and her words flow gently along. In many ways, reading “The Wonder and Happiness of Being Old” is like conversing with an old friend.

Of course, one never gets to talk back to Burnham as a reader. Neither does Eleanor, the ostensible target of Burnham’s musings. Nevertheless, the book’s conversational style invites the reader to respond mentally. 

In general, as the book’s title indicates, Burnham finds old age exhilarating. Although in general she takes a dim view of the gerontocracy that runs much of our political system, she enjoys the company of other people her age. 

She doesn’t feel overlooked as some older people do … perhaps because one would overlook the formidable Burnham at one’s peril.

“We hear so often how our culture dismisses or disrespects older people. It is not my experience. I am touched by how kind people are. The other day in New York, more than one man rushed to help me with my suitcase on the subway, or to hold a door, or to give directions,” she writes. “Little acts of kindness everywhere.”

The author does experience some constraints because of her age. She is forced to put off multiple trips to visit Eleanor (who lives in France) because a blood clot in her leg makes flying inadvisable. She is much more cautious riding her beloved horse than she used to be. 

Nevertheless, she is interested in what is going on with her body, her libido, and her mind as she ages. And she responds positively to the challenges life throws at her. 

She says, “Here’s a trick I use to make a decision: I imagine myself an old woman on my deathbed. I don’t want ever to say at that moment, ‘I could have done it, and I didn’t take the dare.’ Take the dare, Eleanor. Take all the dares. That’s the trick to a happy old age.”

That’s sound advice at any age.

Tinky Weisblat is an award-winning writer and singer known as the Diva of Deliciousness. Visit her website, TinkyCooks.com.