Good morning!

An article by Matt Baker in The Athletic on May 14 attempted to put a righteous spin on UMass football. Baker trudged to the top of the UMass library to look at the archives and pored through the record books. He spoke to UMass boosters, former players and AD Ryan Bamford. Ultimately, however, he could not solve the Rubik’s Cube of the question that was posed in the headline: Can UMass Sell Hope? Why UMass football thinks it can win.

The article’s not for UMass fans. Most of it tells them what they already know about the terrible record, vanquished coaches and apathetic student body.

Athletic director Ryan Bamford tried explaining it away by using the oft’used definition of insanity: “We couldn’t keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.” Yet that’s exactly what Bamford did until the new chancellor came along and lit a fire under his butt.

Baker was seemingly unaware of the ways that Bamford’s policies have turned fans off by charging them to park on the loop, using power-tripping security people to shush people away from good viewing spots and prohibiting fans from seeing the marching band without a ticket at halftime when the game’s already over.

Baker did unearth a nugget or two — UMass has been outscored by 2,467 points since it joined the FBS, for instance, and reported that “renderings on Bamford’s desk” show a “nine figure” stadium that would replace ancient McGuirk Alumni Stadium.

Uh huh, and I’m selling a bridge in Brooklyn. Baker doesn’t know UMass. Someone should have told him about the Tillson Farm Steam Plant that went in backward and never worked.

Even if a new stadium is in the works, first year coach Joe Harasymiak told Baker, “You’ve got to get people to come. That’s my job.”

One hopeful sign is that UMass is a point-and-a-half favorite to beat Temple in the season opener at noon on Aug. 30.

Shot-in-the-dark bettors might even want to lay a bob or two on UMass to win the MAC championship. The odds are 15,000-to-1.

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Team USA needs one win for a bronze and two for the gold at the International Ice Hockey Federation’s World Championship in Stockholm. On Thursday the Americans beat Finland, 4-2, to advance to today’s semifinal. A win would put them in line for tomorrow’s championship game and the country’s first IIHF title since 1933. A loss and they’ll play for the bronze, also no small feat.

The Americans won seven of their eight preliminary games and are 8-1 overall. Their only loss was to top-seed Switzerland, 3-0, on May 12. They have out-shot their opponents 315-171 and out-scored them 39-15.

Seventeen different Americans have potted at least one goal, led by Blackhawks center Frank Nazar with six. Blues center Tage Thompson has five and Utah’s Logan Cooley, Anaheim’s Cutter Gauthier and Vancouver’s Conor Garland all have four.

Goaltenders Joey Daccord (Kraken) and Jeremy Swayman (Bruins) have alternated games and at this writing were tenth and 18th in save percentage, respectively.

Bernardston’s Doug Weiss is the team’s doctor and orthopedic surgeon. The U.S. will play Sweden this morning at 8:20 a.m., followed by Switzerland versus Denmark at 12:20. The Danes shocked Canada, 2-1, on Thursday. Sunday’s bronze medal game will be at 9:20 a.m. and the championship game is at 2:20.

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The Mets TV crew of Ron Darling, Keith Hernandez and Gary Cohen had fun at Fenway this week when the TV camera showed the view from inside the Green Monster.

“Did you ever go inside?” asked Cohen. “Sign [your name]?”

“Yeah, I’ve been in there,” said Hernandez.

“No, Ronnie? Ronnie’s too much of a germaphobe,” said Cohen. “It’s not pleasant in there.”

“Once the Manny Ramirez story came out, that killed it for me,” said Darling.

“Manny left more than his autograph,” laughed Cohen.

“What did he leave?” asked Hernandez.

“He went into the scoreboard during a pitching change because nature was calling,” said Cohen.

“Which nature?” asked Hernandez.

“That’s enough, Keith,” said Cohen.

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Track announcer Larry Collmus gave Saturday’s Preakness a worthy call— “A performance like you read about!” he cheered after Journalism passed Gosger at the wire.

Still in the saddle, jockey Umberto Rispoli told NBC’s Donna Brothers: “It’s a privilege to ride a horse like him. I want to say thank you to (trainer) Michael McCarthy, (owner) Aron Wellman, Bridlewood Farm, my wife, my kids, my family, my mother, my father who teaches me everything. It’s just unbelievable to win one of the legs of the Triple Crown and I’m crying like a kid.”

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Juan Soto signed with the Mets for $765 million and had three hits and seven strikeouts in three games last week at Yankee Stadium and three this week at Fenway Park. He’s batting .243 with 21 RBIs in 49 games, compared to .316 and 33 a year ago in pinstripes.

What’s worse, said Mike Francesa, “He went to Yankee Stadium and gave people the appearance that he was happier talking to the Yankee players than the Mets players.

“If he goes back to New York and this awful run of not producing with men on base, grounding into double plays, having no clutch RBIs, if that continues he’s gonna start hearing it and the crescendo is just gonna get louder and louder and louder.”

Indeed, this weekend’s series against the Dodgers is must-watch TV for the Juan Soto Schadenfreude Club.

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SQUIBBERS: The Boston media ripped Alex Cora for taking Monday night’s game off to attend his daughter Camila’s graduation at BC. That sounds cruel, but it was a morning ceremony and Cora had time to get back to the park. … The following night Cora and Walker Buehler both got tossed for arguing a pitch call. Cora returned to the dugout and trashed the bullpen telephone— shades of Big Papi in Baltimore. … The over/under for BC football this season is 5.5 wins. Nothing yet for UMass, but 4.5 would be generous. … Through Wednesday Aaron Judge was batting .402 and the next best hitter Freddie Freeman was batting .368. … Deerfield native Kazimier Sobieski played five games for UMass last season, returned to the USHL’s Youngstown Phantoms and will play for RPI this season. … Joe Benigno on Mets catcher Francisco Alvarez: “When I see Alvarez come up in a big spot with guys on base you might as well put the K down in the scorebook.” Right, just like when George Scott strolled to the plate and they wrote 6-4-3. … Whoever sang the national anthem at Fenway Park last Saturday turned it into a two-minute-and-four-second opera. Organist John Kiley would rip through it in 50 seconds, and then it was time to play ball. … Colts owner Jim Irsay who passed away at 65 this week had a billion dollar array of collectibles that included a cape worn by singer James Brown, Hunter Thompson’s red convertible, Abe Lincoln’s pocket knife, and the Golden Ticket from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. “I’d rather do this than be floating around on a $2 million yacht,” Irsay told the New York Times. … No lead is safe at Fenway Park or in the NBA after the Knicks blew a 14-point spread on the Pacers with 2:39 left at the Garden on Wednesday. “Choke 2.0” cried the New York Post, comparing it to Reggie Miller’s eight points in nine seconds against the Knicks in ‘95. … Let’s close with a quote by the great Mark Twain: “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”

Chip Ainsworth is an award-winning columnist who has penned his observations about sports for decades in the Pioneer Valley. He can be reached at chipjet715@gmail.com